|C|andid |K|aleidoscope

I recently bought a new mobile phone - a last-year model of a certain brand, whose ad feature people jumping high up in the sky and where at the end, a half-dressed guy lands on his bed, giving me the impression that he is making a video/snapping shots of himself half-naked (!?!?!!?).

I am very happy with my new toy, with all the much-wanted functions my old phone (also of the same brand) did not offer.  Trips on the public transport does not seem as boring as before.  I can now:

• Listen to the radio when I’m on the road (as long as I’m not underground… bummer..)
• Try to win the tennis tournament and give my character more skill, more speed, more power, better reaction…  or try to manoeuvre my way down Yangtze river while avoiding dangerous logs and rocks…
• Senseless banter on SMS between a few of my friends and I can take place anytime.  SMS has also become a form of communication between my parents, sister and I.  Since I’m always staying out till late in the night, the only way my parents can get me is through SMS or email. (This is really unhealthy.  But AT LEAST we are communicating!)
• Play MP3s! In the past, I get really jealous of people’s phones that play MP3s.  Now, I spend hours, trying to get the latest songs so that my phone will be a mini MP3 player.
• Take photos anytime, anywhere!  Wherever we are - having lunch, shopping, in the clubs, at the karaoke, in the library, at the beach… - my friends and I can have snapshots for keepsakes!

The other day, I was busy playing around with the Bluetooth function with Miss Miffy Lee and in the process, drained out my battery.  I switched my phone off so that I can conserve some power for later use.  Who knows, someone got pissed off when I could not be reached through my phone…

It may be frustrating trying to call someone and not getting through… but come on!  Rewind to 6-7 years ago when mobile phones are a rare luxury and is as big as your face - didn’t all of us survive perfectly well without one then?

And what about punctuality?!  In the past, we are forced to at least arrive for our appointments within a respectable time frame.  Now, with just the tap of a few buttons, we can loosely say "Eh.. I’ll be late, you go walk around first and I’ll call you when I’m there.."

Why are we so reliant on our mobile phones now?  Why do we have to keep our phones turned on 24/7?  We are really taking our mobile phones for granted!

Whatever complains we have, I must admit that mobile phones have become a part of our daily lives.  If we are forced to stop having mobile phones, I’m sure many of us will feel quite lost.  It’s this sense of lost, when something you have become so used to, goes missing, that irks you.  And I’m sure none of us will get tired of having a phone anytime soon.

I’ve never cried so much while watching a movie… the only movies I’ve watched and cried along with the characters were: C’est la Vie Mon Cherie, The Notebook and Titanic (Yes!  I’m one of those who watched Titanic countless times and even bought the VCD and soundtrack, so that I could relive the touching scenes of ‘You jump, I jump" and "I’ll never let go").  It came as a surprise to me that I could have wept so hysterically while watching a Mandarin movie.

I was channel surfing and came across an eye-catching image on Channel 62.  It was Louis Koo(!!!), so I started the movie (already more than half way gone), anticipating to drool and send my heart a-flutter with images of oh-so-gorgeous Louis on my TV.  But 15 minutes into the movie, tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably and I started sobbing quite hard.

I was really touched by what hunky Louis said to his on-screen girlfriend, lanky Gigi (Leung). 

"I am not a romantic person.  But I learnt everything about being romantic in the days when we were apart.  I now know that different flowers have different meaning, different colours mean different things, and the number of stalks tells something different… A relationship will end and love will be lost.  But the experiences from each and every one of our relationships will stay with us forever.  I know I will be unable to provide you with the happiness you want…"

What he said (the above quote is the gist of what he said) somehow struck a chord and made me realise how fragile love is.  Couples break-up for many reasons:

1. Quarrels and arguments that takes its toll on the relationship - they spend more time making war than love.
2. The sparks have fizzled - maybe one or both parties just got tired and feel that there is no point in carrying on a relationship where spending one more minute together will bore you to death or make you go bald.
3. Long-distances apart - this happens alot and many say long-distance relationships are hard to maintain.  I’ve had my own experiences and agree totally.  The crux is, you can do any forbidden act in the absence of your partner.  Just don’t confess or get caught.
4. Differences in views of the future - she wants to tie the knot, he does not.
5. Lack of commitment - which brings us to the next point…
6. Appearance of a 3rd party - the killer of all relationships.  Even if the victim decides to forgive, it’ll be very difficult to forget and that eats into the pure existence of the relationship.  And the trust factor… well, that can be a whole new topic entry altogether.

I must say all of us, including myself, have been guilty of or have been through at least one of the above.

It feels shitty when you are experiencing it first-hand, but as they say (does anyone really know who the ‘THEY’ are?) time heals all wounds and you will definitely learn something from it.  For me, I know I have healed and learnt from my past relationships, be it short, long or simply non-existent from either side.

They were good while they lasted.  But people change and wants become such great temptations, it blurs your train of thoughts and you end up doing things that hurt those around you.  We are all selfish, aren’t we?

I’ve given my first time away…

It was not where I had intended it to happen.  On the spur of the moment, I simply gave in to the mere availability of the entity.

Many sleepless nights were spent, wondering if I should do it.  I was worried about the repercussions of the act and it took me a lot of courage to come to the decision to expose my bare naked self to another being.

I guess peer pressure did play a part in my decision.  Many of my friends had done it, and it seemed they were happy about it and had no qualms about doing it over and over again.

The pre-entry encounter was also not how I had expected it to be.  For most of it, there were no messy slipups and embarrassing moments.  It was quick and fuss-free, except for a little hiccup – a premature leak - but I quickly removed it, to avoid any disappointments and sudden halt to the enjoyment I was beginning to experience.

I believe a sense of liberation will wash over me when the whole act is finished.  However, I am sure there will be some fear of the aftermath. 

Now, I am still in the midst of it, struggling to complete the simple entry before posting it.

Yes, this is my very first attempt at blogging.

Hopefully, I will have the perseverance to continue with this and not leave it after a few postings – as like the other countless stuff I have embarked on but stopped because I was just too lazy to continue, or the activity just didn’t interest me anymore.  At least this serves as an avenue for me to improve on my writing skills.

LiveJournal, Blog Spot, My Space, Blogger…  Friendster became my ultimate choice as I was too lazy to go set up another account with some other portal, since I already have an account here.

Give a warm welcome to me and my life, which you will have a taste of for as long as blogging still holds its appeal on me…